A few years ago, I was obsessed with the color pink. Like a full-time Nicky Minaj barbie girl look kind of obsession. From my outfit to makeup to accessories. My entire wardrobe. To top it all my departmental uniform was PINK. Lol.
But now you may not believe when I tell you that I have just one pink blouse. ONE!!!, which I bought strictly because of the style, not color. Why the change? You may ask. Well, I will get to that shortly.
So yesterday I was sitting in the far corner of PORT HARCOURT CITY PLEASURE PARK. As I looked up I sighted this pair of teenagers seriously kissing, touching, I mean all round smooching. I didn’t quite get it so I looked on harder, the boy should be about 16-17, the girl 15-16 if not older.
Now I know this is not new and these things have become so popular but what caught my attention was the boy reaching into his pocket, brought out something and sliding it into the girl’s tiny finger. At this point, I couldn’t help but let out the laughter. A RING. Really??? And no!! These kids were not amateur. They knew exactly where to kiss and what to touch. This wasn’t the first time.
I should have made a video but what kind of adult would I be.? But then I decided to interrupt the hot session, by picking a conversation with them. It wasn’t easy but somehow I got around with it. The result of our GIST is the reason behind this piece. So they are both 17, the girl had just gained admission into the university to study medicine halfway across the country, the guy wants to be a petroleum engineer but he’s still struggling with WAEC and so he had to put a ring on it, so he doesn’t lose her.
Not because he will be ready for marriage in the next five years. He doesn’t even know where he will be or what he will be doing in five years time. I wasn’t surprised. He is a teenager. By the time they got up to leave, the guy wouldn’t even look at me, I could tell he despised me, the girl quietly turned back to wave me goodbye. I may not be their best action hero today but I know they will remember me in a few years.
But the case of these teenagers isn’t peculiar. What surprises me is when full grown men are caught up in this web. You cannot be 24, still living or depending on your family and be holding a 24-year-old girl hostage in the name of love. You cannot also be 35, without a job, business, vision, goal, crashing on your brother/friend’s couch and all you talk about are un-materialized dreams and still be holding someone’s daughter captive. No!!!
In Nigeria, we don’t do true love. We don’t do happily ever after. They don’t exist. It is all about security, stability, convenience. “what will people say”, responsibility, and following the norm. why do you think it is referred to as “settling down”. young man, get off your infatuation and find yourself first. You cannot be dragging another human being along when you don’t even know who you are yet or where you are going.
Yes, we know men are wired to be selfish, but I thought love was selfless? You people confuse me biko. We all know that as we grow and evolve, we change in the process along with our preferences. And this is mostly seen in men. The kind of woman a man loves when he’s 24 is not the same kind of woman he would want to take home when he’s 30 and ready, it is also not the same kind he would be desiring by the time he’s heading 50. we all know these things we don’t just talk about them.
Take this from a lady, we outgrow things as fast as fast can be. Especially men. Don’t be deceived. The boy she is crushing on today isn’t gonna be the same kind of man she will need tomorrow. Don’t think “oh the sex is great she is not gonna leave”. Did you hear me when I said it doesn’t exist???
So my dear young man, if you are not ready don’t hold any body’s daughter hostage. There is TIME for everything. Set your priorities right and work for the life you want. The woman you deserve will tag along.
PS: Ladies love men with a strong sense of who they are.
May You Know Better, So You Can Do Better. GOD BLESS YOU.