Nothing was working out, first, It was my job then my relationship, then series of incidence followed my young business. I had to slow down everyone said; slow down??? That wasn’t possible; yes I am one of those who cares a lot, I dread the idea of being a burden to anyone even my parents; I just had to have my own thing no matter how small.
These couple of years at home; It’s like my years had begun counting backwards; I had gone back to being a teenager, the dos and don’t keep flowing back to back, the policing, the rules, the regulations…..in fact am not allowed to sit near a boy in church so I don’t get pregnant lol. Well, we live in a society where pretense and hypocrisy are called respect.
The average Nigerian parent and the society at large do not care about who you are out there or what you are doing or have done back in school as long as you do not bring it home. This baffles me a lot but well story for another time. My petite nature wasn’t helping my case and the fact that I know the essence and effects of being at loggerhead with ones folks didn’t make it any easier.
My dad….well he just didn’t want to lose his little girl, for him I had grown up too quickly. On my graduation ceremony during his speech he had said ”just some months ago I was dropping her off at KROSA INTL.” huh? Months?? Well, we had all laughed it off. My mom….hmmmm, she had missed out on the most important years of my life, that teenage peak formative period.
Why? This is honestly a story for another time. Well, here we were ten years later all trying to make up for lost time; but what they didn’t realize was that TIME never stood still neither did I. I had formed, made my mistakes, learned from them, experience is truly the worst teacher; There was just nothing they should actually be afraid of. I had molded and remolded myself into the lady I am and working on the woman I desired to be. Making them see this was a herculean task.
And here I was under their roof, jobless and broke. It was time to adapt and evolve. And gently I let myself adapt. The world had moved on. My friends and peers were adults and were out and about doing things; while I have been stuck in a timeless Elysium, tasting the lethal edge of routine, every day the same old steel flavor.
My greatest solace was found in my gadgets and before long it was believed that I had been possessed or better still addicted to the internet. It was quite hilarious but there was nothing to be said to change their minds. They had been stuck on too much Emmanuel Tv to believe otherwise. And on one of those faithful days, I would lock myself in, basking in my loneliness, shutting out everyone, lost in my endless thoughts and few times flirting with the idea of suicide.
Well, even death had rejected me if not I should have been long gone. I was still caught up in my thoughts when she gently tapped my foot, I opened my eyes and she tried to force a smile as she said “You should get your things ready, your father said we are going for family prayers in Warri by the weekend. And, Yes! buy a white robe, there will be conducting deliverance”!!! Wait!!! What!!??? Lol….